The Shibari, is Japanese rope art, it is a style of kinky or BDSM play that comes to us from Japan. It started as an underground form of erotic fantasy play that focuses on erotic nostalgia of bygone eras. In the same way that kinky people of European heritage have incorporated legends and myths of medieval European imprisonment - such as shackles and the St. Andrew's cross - into their sexual shadow play, the Japanese have found carnal inspiration in the historical myths of captive girls and their imprisoned heroes. In Europe, non-consensual imprisonment often used metal and leather, while in Japan it was often rope. Often people outside Japan want to explain shibari as a direct descendant of the medieval martial arts of the samurai, but this is a problematic colonial narrative. Today in Japan, shibari is enjoyed by adults who consent to include it in their private sex lives, in stage performances in kinky-themed bars, and of course in porn. In 2000 most people had never heard of it. There were a few underground fetish enthusiasts, and some queer people with fringe dance fetishes who had performances. Nowadays, shibari is over.
Who is shibari aimed at?
To any adult who consents to it. Japanese rope art can be done with lovers, friends for kinky situations and solo pleasures with yourself.
Who is the "Rigger" or the "Top"?
He's the person who throws the ropes, which means he does the tying. The Rigger is the leader in this experience, he is the one who guides and dominates, while the person undergoing shibary tying follows the instructions/orders. The Rigger is the one who directs and dominates the other person to bind them as they want to be bound. This would fall under sadomasochism, of the dominant-masochist. The submissive person who obeys the submissive, who follows instructions and is tied with a rope can be called a submissive-slave/slave/slave.
Who's "Model", Rope bunny, bottom"?
It is the person who receives the ropes on him. He passes the rope through their body. The person who is tying dominates, not the person who is being tied.
All participants with full commitment and cooperative consent agree to take part in the shibary session.
Let's not forget the solo pleasures:
You can bond just because you feel good or stimulated by the process!
What people get out of playing shibari - physically, emotionally and sensually - will vary widely and greatly. There are as many pleasures as there are people who enjoy shibari. But here are a few.
A session shibary from a Rigger/Top can be done with the following purposes:
1. Role-playing as the naughty and the "bad guy".
2. They are happy that their partner can let go and experience pleasure.
3. Playing sex games - safely.
4. Feeling of joy.
5. Good sex positions.
6. A sense of emotional connection.
A session shibary by the person who agrees to be bound, the Model, does so because:
1. He wishes to let go emotionally and physically.
2. Desires the feeling of rope and/or the feeling of tightening.
3. In order to enhance the sensual aspects of and/or orgasms.
4. Desires role-play, role-play.
5. It is easier to perform sex positions when they support the ropes.
6. Play sex games - safely.
7. They seek a sense of emotional connection.
The choice of equipment
Safety ropes and scissors are the basics. Everything beyond that is just the extras. One of the pleasures of rope and shibari in particular, is that getting started doesn't require much. Of course, some people really enjoy getting lots of fancy gear, as in any recreational and leisure activities. But shibari doesn't require you to have expensive ropes made of hemp, jute or other fibers. For a novice and easy beginner's game, we suggest starting with a nice soft cotton shibari rope.
Why cotton and not materials like jute or hemp?
It is soft on the skin, holds knots well, is unlikely to irritate due to allergies and is easy to wash after the procedure. Cotton is a good material for the budget-minded as well: Because it's inexpensive, you can buy a lot and use it without having it in your mind that it's precious or too thin. It's easier to shorten it to the desired length or cut it in an emergency. People are good at playing sex games without being stressed.
Preparation for the shibari
Dialogue before the shibari procedure. Be sure to talk about what you both want and don't want and then figure out the common desires. And both parties must declare their boundaries and respect them. How will they let each other know that they are having a good time or if something needs to be changed or stopped? Let everyone know clearly. Also establish a safe word, a keyword, as a password. Plan in advance your every need for aftercare. After shibari fun, whether the playtime was enjoyable or not, people often need their own transition time. This length of time is essential for turning a good time into an amazing memory.
Start with shorter ropes, as they are easier to handle. Extremely long ropes can get tangled and simply increase frustration for the person tying and boredom for the person waiting to tie.
Safety scissors. Always have a set nearby when playing. Sometimes knots get too tight or a person needs to be released quickly, for whatever reason.
Basic shibari positions
A simple idea to try, especially if it's your first time: Start with your favorite sex position and use the ropes to tie the partner who is accepting this position. Another simple version: tie the right wrist to the right thigh and the left wrist to the left thigh. If the receiving partner is a little more flexible, try the wrists to the ankles. If any parts of your body tingle, change position and see if it returns to normal.
Signs that something is wrong and you need to use your safety scissors:
The ropes are so tight that you feel a tingling sensation or the normal colour, texture or temperature of your skin changes drastically.
The real key is not the ties or knots, but the connection between partners, the flow of the game and your ability to improvise to co-create joy.
Where to learn more about shibari:
It seems that most people first learn about shibari from television and the internet-some from Instagram, some from TikTok, others from dating apps or online discussion groups, even Reddit. These are the first places to get a taste , but most popular media do not provide reasonable, accurate or safe information. There is an accelerating amount of bad to awful information - presented as education - on TikTok.
There may also be groups relevant if you want to meet people in the BDSM community and practice. Otherwise there are also performers where they can train you in person or online.
Individuals who are curious or genuinely interested in obtaining quality, practical and safe information should research well where to look. Good shibari content is often not flashy - and it's not made for short attention spans. It requires reading, watching, listening, thinking and logical experimentation. I recommend the free instructional videos from Twisted Monk , which are easy, fun and down-to-earth. Look for a guide that provides videos/texts on pre-game conversation and an example of what rope experiences can be like.
